


(And Ready for Love)

by toomuchagain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s11e10 The Devil in the Details, Gen, Heavy Angst, Mental Anguish, Mental Torture, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 10:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5782330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomuchagain/pseuds/toomuchagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life with Lucifer is worse than Cas imagined (and more than he deserves).</p>
            </blockquote>





	(And Ready for Love)

It hurt.

In a way Cas remembered all too vividly from his time as a human, and as distantly as he remembered the taste of PB&J.

He was naive, probably, to have thought saying yes to Lucifer would mean letting him possess Cas's vessel. Far too optimistic, given how everything in his life turned out.

Lucifer was possessing _Cas_ , and it _hurt_. It was fire and it was ice and it was pressure that could forge something harder than diamonds. But willing free pass to earth or not, Lucifer wanted Castiel to suffer, and that was just the baseline.

"Awwww, look at that. He just completely forgets what personal space is around you, doesn't he? Stands so close, grasps your shoulder so...intimately. Those concerned eyebrows and pretty eyes. It's almost like he cares, Cassie. Maybe next he'll even give you a rousing speech about how he needs you at a hundred percent..." Lucifer whispered into his ear, crouched behind him.

"Cas, you okay? I know you had a messed up few weeks there, okay. So I just wanna know: are you okay? Because we got a hell of a—" Dean was saying, brows beetled, so serious.

"...because it's all hands on deck. Ooh, right on cue!"

Cas whimpered, curling into himself.

"How you twisted these little speeches of his into concern for you, I'll never know," Lucifer continued. "Castiel. He's stated it outright, _to your face_ time and time again. He only wants you around when you can do something for him."

"Stop it. Stop. Leave me alone."

" _Castiel_. You don't mean that. After all, I'm the only one who ever won't."

Lucifer stood over him, uncomfortably close. He refused to look up from his knees.

Sighing, Lucifer withdrew a few paces. "I mean, sure, you've fallen far enough to be a vessel, but you're nothing like any of them! Humans, angels? You rejected them all! You rejected our deadbeat dad! You are...well. Something vastly less than yours truly, but I named you right when we first met in Carthage."

Cas raised his head, shivering and dreadful.

"Castiel," Lucifer smiled softly, "We are truly brothers."

" _No_ ," Cas hissed, shrinking. The agony of containing Lucifer flared, and he spasmed, shrieking as he fell to his side. For a moment he remembered a recent time he'd been in the same position...a warm blanket being tucked around him...gentle hands holding him steady...

The pain receded with a feeling like stitches rushing over his skin and Cas curled into himself with a strangled whimper.

Having collected himself once more, Lucifer sat down beside him, lifting his head to rest in his lap. His fingers began to stroke gently through Cas's hair.

"I'm ready for whatever you need," Cas's body said, crinkling his eyes in a devoted smile, "Just say the word—"

"—and you'll jump," Lucifer finished, booping Cas's nose.

Lucifer was right. Ambriel had been right. Even Rowena has been right: He was the Winchesters' bitch. He was expendable. He was nothing.

"Ah, don't be so hard on yourself, kiddo!" Lucifer interrupted bracingly, "You got the one being that can take out the Darkness out of jail! And look—you're the tool that's gonna help me do it. That's something."

For a moment they were both quiet, observing as they helped Sam look through some old Men of Letters case files.

"You know, about that. You deserve a little something for that. A little reward."

Tensing, Cas barely got a chance to try to move away before the fingers in his hair shoved his head back down. Lucifer waited a moment to be sure he was going to stay where he was before he resumed combing through Cas's hair.

"As I was saying. A reward. Now I know it's not much, but I was thinking…"

Cas shut his eyes tight, not wanting to hear any more.

"You've done all this work, just for Dean Winchester. No idea why, but maybe you see something in him."

"Please, _please_ stop."

"So I figure, you being so sentimental—"

Tears gathered, squeezing out to catch in his eyelashes.

"—maybe you'd like to see him one last time before the end. Whattya say you get—what was it you asked for, back when you molotov'ed Michael? Five minutes?"

Lucifer paused to muse, one finger against his bottom lip.

"That should do it, don't you think? I'll let you take the reins for five minutes. And you can say goodbye before we go to town on him."

Cas gritted his teeth against a sob.

"Not good enough for you, brother? Hmm. Okay, I'll sweeten the deal."

At that, Cas did pull away, violently enough to throw himself out of Lucifer's grasp. He scrambled away, pressing into a corner, trapped in this place that wasn't a place.

Calmly, Lucifer rose and came to stand over him. Cas tried to defiantly meet his eye, but most likely it came off terrified and pathetic.

"You can have five minutes," the Devil grinned, " _And_ the moment the knife slides home. You can be the last thing he ever sees."

\--------------------

"What was that?" Sam asked, looking up at a quiet noise from Cas.

"Hmm?" As Cas put down the report he was holding, for a moment Sam could've sworn his eyes were a little too bright. But Cas blinked, eyes dry, and Sam thought maybe it was just a trick of the light.

"Oh, nothing. Just uh, like watching grass grow." Cas indicated the report, grimacing as he returned to it.

Sam frowned, about to do the same before thinking better of it. "Hey, you sure you're good? It's just—it got pretty bad back there with Lucifer, and it doesn't sound like it was a barrel of laughs with Amara, either."

Cas gave him a small, reassuring smile. "I'm fine, Sam." He held it for only a moment, eyes moving back to the page in his hand.

"Fit as a fiddle."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song "Fit as a Fiddle (And Ready for Love)" written by Arthur Freed, Al Hoffman, and Al Goodhart. Of course, I'm making one joke while Luci's making a rather different one.


End file.
